The Plural of Sheep is Sheep

In episode 18, we talk to our special guest Sam Turcotte: student, Bee Meadow Farm volunteer, and aspiring vet! You'll hear about talking muffins, avoiding burnout as a vet, why Russ hates Boston Cream doughnuts, dubious sweet potatoes, and more! Big thanks to Sam for joining us and being the voice of sanity for episode 18. Oh yeah, and a big shout-out to the fine people at Woodlands Campground!
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"It’s like grandparents kissing - it’s fine!"
“Most people you only have to tell once. And the ones you don’t, you kill.”
"That’s why we don’t get sponsorships - Nat’s always uttering death threats"
“You know I’m a boomer because I forget what we were just talking about “
“I voluntarily came here to do this thing and now they’re talking about birthday-cake Oreos and assisted suicide”
"Fuck you to all the other vets, I’m her favourite. Suck it."
"That was a wild fucking ride, I gotta say!"

Welcome to episode 17, in which we are supposed to discuss hibernation, torpor, brumation, viking funerals, Russ' kinship with a bean-bag chair, insulting lemur names, the turtle that ran away, and SO MUCH MORE!
Listen to us mispronouce "brumation" as "brumination" for the entire episode!
"I'm all for Viking funerals!!""If I were at your funeral, I would 100% shoot a flaming arrow into your raft!""If I were to go to your funeral, I would hire a 20-year-old stripper to throw himself onto your casket... then dip."
"It's like I'm a beanbag chair hitting the floor"
"If you get dementia, I wanna visit you every day in the home for your sick-ass rap content!"
"I can't think of anything that rhymes with Russ."
"Can I put my cats on sleep mode... for just, like, a week?"
"They use the word arousal a lot, but it was in terms of them rising..."
"...from their treehole?"
"I'll tell you what's wrong with you: F*CKING NOTHING!"
On the visit from Russ's parents:"Did they bring chocolate?""They brought something better.. a pew from a church! It's Snuffy's favourite seat now... until I drive some more farts into it."
"What the f*ck were we talking about?"

In this episode, Russ and Nat discuss waggle and other animal dances, groupies with flowers and wine, action figures, working in pajamas, and more. They also muse about why they aren't famous yet, and who their sponsor would be if they were.
 
“That’s just my metric! Someone mass-produced several million 11” versions of me… yeah, that’s cool!”
 
“It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times!”
 
“My *sshole grew another *shole that cringed…”’
 
"We be smirching that name all up and down these halls!"
 
 
Additional words of Russ-Nat wisdom:
"If you wanna be upset, be upset.  I fyou wanna be happy, be happy. None of this (life) makes any sense. We are carbon-based people on a blue rock spinning through space.”
“If you wanna hang upside down from a hoop, hang  upside down form a hoop!” Just don't fall and paralyze yourself.

Tune in to our special Christmas episode where ee discuss  nose ebola, Russ's stint as a Christmas cow-jockey, polydactyl calves (baby cows, not leg parts), a cat named Debbie, and so much more! GIVE IT A LISTEN! And we also try to answer a couple of listener questions. How do YOU get ready for Christmas?
 
PLUS: What would Russ's life have been like if his cat Snuffy had been named Debbie, seemingly unbothered by three Bassett Hounds?
"Debbie, shut that trap! I'm not giving you any more treats!"
 
"Kevin, you are what the French call 'Les incompetents'"
"I pack underwear like I'm going to have diarrhea eight to nine times a day!" - Russ
"Can't sh*t pants if no wear pants" - Russ's brother,(also the title of his future memoir)

In this episode, Russ and Nat discuss all things spooky with our special guest Grace O'Hara, who has volunteered and worked at Bee Meadow Farm for many years, and has a ban on ouija boards in her family.
Tune in for chocolate vs. dogs, creepy banshees, freaks of nature, rat cannibalism, two-headed bovines, Russ's lush and mobile eyebrows, Hallowe'en zebras, and a moving poetry recitation.
 
"We as a society only value something after it's gone, or when it's plastinated."
"Give me all your peanuts!"
"Mmmm, delicious rat flesh!"
 
And how do you pronounce "scone" anyway?!
 
 
 

In perhaps our most unhinged episode yet, we find out about Natalie's grade-school trauma and why 13 is her lucky number, then we discuss off-brand pets! For example, what pet would you end up with if you crossed our meat-lovin' former barn-cat Missy with demon-spawn mini-horse Katie? You'll have to listen to find out.
And don't miss our discussion of the true value of Natalie's eggs (chicken and otherwise), not to mention our foray into poop... is poo different if it's your child's? And by the way, Russ knows sh*t about chickens.
"Am I fantasizing this?"
"When it's yours, it's different!"
"Man. No chicken ever takes a better x-ray than my boy!"
 
If you like this episode, don't forget to share it with everyone you know! We won't rest until we are famous, or at least infamous.

In episode 12, Natalie and Russ discuss weird and wonderful animal hook-ups: bunny and goat, dog and pig, and even a foray into the tale of a boy in Kyrgyzstan raised by sheep!
We learn something new in every episode, and so will you, whether you want to or not.
 
"I promised myself I wasn't going to do this but... the OXPECKER."
 
"Let's talk about kids raised by animals”“THAT’S ME!”
 
"Carlos was in sexual overdrive.""Do you think that's why Squiggly is such a d**k now?"
 
PS: Natalie would like to apologize for her excessive snorting.
 

In episode 11, Russ and Natalie discuss some of the weird hybrids in the animal world! Hear about geeps and zonkeys and the elusive Beaver Bernard! Plus, the weirdest things we have ever cried about! Tune in now.
 
"This would be so illegal if humans did it."
"Imagine your Dad's wool sock that has been worn a million times, hanging over a table with a bowling ball in it..."
"Hencocks are our canary in the coal mine!"
What hybrid is Justin Bieber + Beethoven ... Biebhoven? JustBeet? Beetber?
 

"Dad, if you're listening, and I hope you're not..."
In episode 10, swearing has returned, and we discuss why there's no room for dad-bods in the pipefish community, Pigeon guillemot fathers and their horrific approach to parenting in times of scarcity, and dumping pets on our own dads. Pluls there's the bonus tale of the latest Bee-Meadow-Farm cat Pablo Escobar's escape attempts. and his possible name change to "El Chapo"
 

Digestion Digressions, Refrigerator’s Destiny, and Basement Pets, with a side of Negligible Senescence!
Welcome to our Mother's Day episode, in which we refrain from profanity in honour of Russ's Mom (but fail at least twice without even noticing!)
We talk about bad mothers, good mothers, vengeful house-sparrow baby-mamas, the regenerative skills of axolotls, ugly owls, and Russ's recent encounter with a sweet sassy singer, a baby lawyer, and a sexy scientist at the Windsor Tavern in Vankleek Hill. Also, Natalie's mother was a cuckoo, but also a sea turtle. And what DOES a baby lawyer sound like?
 
"Menopausal women don't cry, they rage!"
"How much of an axolotl would you need to remove to have two axolotls?"
"You're accountable to no one!"
"Had one of those evenings where you go out for one drink at 10,  and cut to it's 3 am and you're on your couch and you've just polished off that second steak, stinking of booze and are like 'What the hell just happened to me?'"